As a parent, we are blessed (and sometimes cursed) to experience many “firsts.”  Some firsts are bigger than others.  First steps, first day of Kindergarten, first date, to name a few but other “firsts”, while not as awesome or monumental, can still catch you off-guard and play with your heart.

Today, I dropped my 10 year old Peyton off at the mall with her girlfriend Skylar unchaperoned- a first!

Her excitement at the prospect of strolling through the mall without me by her side was palpable and it made me smile. Isn’t it funny how, at 10 years old, all you want to do is grow up? Watching her get ready, gathering up her spare change and loading it into one of my old wallets brought a mix of feelings for me. I was so happy for her happiness but at the same time sad for my loss-loss of my grasp of her hand both metaphorically and physically. And while I am not one of those moms who tether her chidren to the “appropriate time” to unravel the reigns, it doesn’t mean that I am not sensitive to the changes these milestones mean. With each child, there has been both beauty and loss in the transitions.

After two hours, I picked up the girls. They were waiting for me with big smiles. I smiled too when I saw that Peyton used her slush fund to make a Build-A-Bear and I thought to myself that maybe I still have a bit more time to grasp her hand!

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