Friendship Foursomes

There are so many types of friendships. Some are reliant on the past while some are built on the future.  Some friendships challenge us to be better people and some drag us through the mud, making us wonder time and time again why we hang around. Some friendships are transitory and others last a lifetime but the ones I appreciate the most are the ones which are seamless- the ones which require no effort because your time together just flows! The only friendship which is better than this is one which comes in a pair. A friendship foursome in which all spouses align.

In my experience, friendship foursomes are kind of rare. Many times it is a case of one partner dragging the other to dinner only to make nice, creating nothing more than a cursory connection. When we are the obliging spouse, we try but often we come up short.

Friendship foursomes are also at risk. When your foursome breaks up because of an uncoupling, it can be devastating. Shawn and I had a foursome friendship hit the skids and  we were left with big questions like “Now what do we do now for the Fourth of July?” And “Who do we play board games and drink martinis with on a Saturday night?” When you are the twosome abandoned by your foursome twosome, you are entitled to mourn the breakup (at least for a bit) until the dust settles and you figure out which one of the twosome you will maintain a relationship with because, let’s be honest, it is damn-well impossible to maintain both.

I feel lucky that Shawn and I have built an incredible friendship which is both seamless and a foursome. We can go out for beers as we did last Saturday night when we took this picture or we can hang by a campfire and share stories- these are the special ones, the ones which are mutual and authentic.

Our families travel together and we break bread together on holidays, but mostly, we know we are there for eachother and that is a wonderful thing. A thing we certainly do not take for granted nor neglect.

This past weekend, we started to plan our Summer adventure together. Between the four of us, we have kids graduating elementary, middle and high school. We have milestone b-day celebrations and kids transferring to big universities. There are a lot of reasons to celebrate in an exotic location but whatever we decide, I am just grateful for our time and glad we can spend it together.




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